


the stars know your silence (the sky knows your violence)

by lil_snips



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Ezra Bridger Gets a Hug, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Kanan Jarrus is a Good Dad, Nonbinary Character, Parental Kanan Jarrus, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sabine is kind of mean but she gets better i promise, Trans Ezra Bridger, enby!sabine, eventually, i completely forgot that ezra isn't canonically trans, mute!Ezra, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_snips/pseuds/lil_snips
Summary: From the moment he awoke, he knew that something was coming today. A change. The Force had shifted ever-so-slightly overnight, leaving Kanan anticipating, expecting. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it was important.Ezra is mute. He meets the Ghost Crew the same way, but it goes a little bit different.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger & The Ghost Crew, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Space Family (Star Wars Rebels)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

  


From the moment he awoke, he knew that something was coming today. A change. The Force had shifted ever-so-slightly overnight, leaving Kanan anticipating, expecting. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it was important. 

  


Kneeling on his cabin floor, he breathed in deep, attempting to meditate. His anxiety briefly spiked as he closed his eyes and reached within himself, establishing a connection to the Force. Even though it had been years since Kanan - no,  _ Caleb _ \- was a Padawan, he could still hear his master telling him to release his emotions. Kanan shook his head, dismissing the voice. Thinking of the past never did him any good.

  


He steadied his breathing, measuring his breaths as he sank into the waves of the Force. 

Letting his anxiety wash down the river, he felt the currents pulling him towards something. Or...someone? It was a vague, broad feeling, urging him to follow. Kanan pursued the trail, following the bright thread that appeared before him. Whatever the Force was leading him towards, it radiated light. It called to him, wrapping him in warmth. He felt gentle arms around his torso, bright blue eyes looking up at him. 

  


Suddenly, he felt as if ice had been dropped straight down his spine, and a cold fear so intense he almost lost his breath hit him. The warmth vanished, and an ache grew along his ribs. His head and torso pounded, leaving him breathless, before the feeling shut off completely and suddenly behind a shield. Kanan floundered for a moment, overwhelmed, before pulling back from the current. Someone was very obviously terrified and in pain.  _ Was this how the Force had changed? Was he meant to help this person?  _ he asked himself. 

  


A crash sounded from the galley, startling Kanan out of his meditation. A glass shattered seconds after, followed by a female voice cursing.  _ Guess that’s all I’m gonna get from that today _ . He sighed, standing up and stretching his body.

  


Hera’s voice filtered through the door as he got dressed, scolding Sabine for her language. He laughed internally. The teen would never stop cursing. It was in her blood.

  


As Kanan went to leave his room, a tingle at the back of his neck made him pause. His lightsaber and the stolen holocron always called to him, but today, for some reason, they seemed a little more insistent. He brushed the feeling aside, reminding himself that it was safer for everyone around him if he ignored the call, and stepped outside. Still, he couldn’t help but glance back, reassuring himself that he was doing the right thing. 

  


\-----

  


Entering the galley, Kanan smiled at Hera, who had just finished scolding Sabine for cursing. “Mornin’ Hera, Sabine,” he called, sliding into the small seating space. “Where’s Zeb?” 

“‘M right here,” came a gruff voice from the door. The Lasat ducked through the doorway before leaning against the counter. “Heard something broke.” Sabine grimaced from the other side of Kanan. “Figured it was time for me to get up anyways.” 

  


“So what’s the plan? What intel do we have?” Sabine asked eagerly, leaning forwards across the small table. 

  


“I’ve got it right here. Hopefully, it won’t be as bad as the last few times he’s given us information,” Hera stated. Zeb scoffed from his spot. “I know we’ve gotten into some tough spots from outdated intel, but it’s what we have. Remember, we are helping people. Just think of Tarkintown. They would have no food, no way of supporting themselves if we just left them. Part of what we’re stealing today is rations for them. We’ve got to help them, though.” 

  


Zeb sighed. “It seems like half the time, these ops go downhill. But you’re right, we’ve got to try.” 

  


“Alright. Chopper, can you pull the city map up? Kanan, Zeb, Sabine, you guys will go in to get the goods. I’ll be on standby with the  _ Ghost. _ ”

  


“And how exactly are we supposed to “get the goods”?” Sabine asked. “I could...make a distraction of some sort.” 

  


“Intel says that the crates you’re stealing will be two crates each on three speeders in this square here,” Hera said, pointing to an area of the map, lighting it up.

  


Sabine moved in closer to get a look at the buildings around it. “There will probably be some sort of protection squad assigned to it. If the crates are on speeders, then so will the stormtroopers. I could blow one of those up, then get up on the roof. They’ll definitely try to get the stuff out of there ASAP. Kanan, if you can block their path with something, then you and Zeb can knock out interference and get the first two. If you sync the third to one of your speeders, I’ll drop down from up top to get on that one. Where should we rendezvous?” 

  


Kanan smiled proudly, glancing at the young teen. “That’s a great plan, ‘bine. This should be a pretty routine op. How about this area just outside of town for the rendezvous?” he stated, indicating an area on the other side of the map. “If we can get the Imps off our tails, it’s likely no one will stop us. They’re not exactly sympathetic to the Empire’s cause.” 

  


“That sounds like a good plan. Let’s get moving,” the pilot stated, standing up straight from where she’d been leaning on the counter. 

  


“Keep comms on. I’ve got a feeling that we’re going to encounter something new today,” Kanan added as he rose from the table. 

  


“Something bad? Great,” Zeb commented, stretching. 

  


“No, just...something. And don’t be so worried. We’ll handle it. We always do.” 

  


\---

  


Hera pulled him aside as they left the galley. “What is it, love?” She looked into his eyes. She always knew when something was bothering him. 

  


“I honestly can’t say. The Force felt...different...this morning, so I tried meditating for a bit. There was something...or some _ one _ ...the Force was pulling me towards. I think they could sense me connecting to them, though, because they shut me out almost instantly. They were terrified, Hera. I’ve only been that scared a few times in my life...” Kanan trailed off, then shook his head. “I think this person, whoever they are, is going to be important.” 

  


“Okay, love, but just be careful. Focus on the mission. If there’s anyone who can handle this, it’s you.” 

  


“I know. I’ll be careful.”

  


\---

  


Kanan stood in an alley, watching and listening for the sound of crates attaching to speeder bikes. Hearing the last crate loaded, he was about to tap to Zeb when he felt the Force prickle at the back of his neck. An almost-familiar presence felt gently around his mind, coming from behind and above him, and once again, he had the impression of arms around his body, a flash of bright blue eyes. The feeling recoiled suddenly, but not before Kanan felt a hint of fear. He turned around, expecting to see someone - the owner of the eyes? - there, but an apparently empty roof awaited his eyes. Still, he felt eyes on him as he turned away.

  


Shaking his head, he moved off to signal Zeb, who was waiting in an alcove. As he passed the Lasat, he paused and tapped his hand twice against his leg. Zeb moved out to a more protective stance, giving him the opportunity to signal Sabine. He tapped his leg twice, got three taps in return, and the Mandalorian girl moved into the square to plant a bomb. The plan swept into motion, and Kanan ran to get the speeder he had “borrowed.” 

  


Once he heard the explosion and the tell-tale noises of speeders, he put his part into action. Backing up his own speeder, he met the troopers at a street conjunction. “How’s it going?” he asked sarcastically, before leaping out and kicking the lead trooper in the face. He whipped out his blaster and fired a few shots, hitting the second trooper in the chest. Kanan continued to fire at the last trooper who had been on the speeders as more troopers came around the corner. The presence never left the back of his mind as he dodged and shot. Thankfully, Zeb came around the corner, and smashed the trooper’s heads together with enough force that they’d be feeling it bad when they came to. 

  


Suddenly, the presence flared. Kanan looked up to see a small body jumping down from the roof towards him. The blue haired boy landed on a speeder, smiled, and saluted, backing down the alley. Zeb took a swipe at him, but the kid ducked. Before he turned the corner, Kanan met the boy’s eyes. 

  


_ Those eyes. _

  


The exact same eyes he had the impression of earlier. He was sure of it.

  


Kanan shook his head, trying not to smile. Zeb growled, but he rested his hand on the Lasat’s shoulder, calming him. “Come on. Let’s see if Sabine’s caught our thief.” 

  


They hopped on the other two speeders, taking off in the same direction as the boy. Somehow, he knew the same path that the  _ Ghost _ crew planned. Kanan wondered if it was the Force telling him the way to go, or if their plans had somehow been leaked. A gut instinct told him it was the former. 

  


The two speeders whizzed by Sabine, who had caught the boy and stolen one of the crates back. They whipped around corners, chasing the young thief. As they passed the city limit, the road stretched out straight before them. Kanan felt the presence of two stormtroopers behind them, also chasing them on speeders. He smiled. All in a day’s work.

  


\-----

  


Once the speeder he had been on was destroyed and the kid took off with the other one, Kanan called for a ride. He knew the Empire would find him eventually, the speeder leaving an obvious trail through the tall grasses. Sinking into the Force, he guided Hera over comms towards the boy’s bright presence. “If you’ll hover here, I’ll try to get him on board.” The pilot responded with an affirmative answer. 

  


The cargo doors opened, and he came to the edge, looking for the mop of blue hair he had seen before. “You want a ride?” Kanan asked casually, genuinely wondering if the boy would accept. The kid looked beyond him apprehensively, and then back towards him, warily. He could hear the TIE fighters closing. This needed to be fast. “Kid, you got a better option? Come on!” The boy looked behind him, then past the Ghost, before running over to the crate. “Just leave it! You’re never gonna make it!” Kanan exclaimed, knowing it was impossible to get it up that high. To his surprise, he watched as the kid lifted the crate at a run, and sprung high, catching the edge of it on the lip of the cargo door. “Woah,” slipped from Kanan’s lips. There was no way he could’ve done that without the use of the Force. The kid’s mop of dark hair peeked out to the side as he hauled himself onto the platform. “Spectre Two, you’re good to go,” Kanan called through the comms, feeling the Ghost begin to rise. He helped the kid bring the crate into the cargo bay. 

  


The door closed behind them, and he looked at the young boy, who was kneeling on the floor, holding his side. This was the first time Kanan had been able to get a good look at the kid. Bright, intelligent blue eyes peeked out from under long, dark blue hair. He couldn’t have been more than thirteen or fourteen. His clothes were baggy and covered in dirt. Kanan couldn’t help but wonder what this kid had been through. 

  


The boy looked up at the three, a flash of fear in his eyes. He looked directly at Kanan, squinted his eyes, his fear suddenly spiking. Abruptly, the boy was in motion, landing a blow to Kanan’s stomach. The older man doubled over, not prepared the attack. He tried to stand back up quickly, but not before his hair was grabbed and his head slammed into a knee. Vaguely, he could hear Zeb and Sabine shouting and the Ghost shuddering around him, but his head was spinning too much for him to focus on that. All he could feel was complete, abject terror radiating off of the boy. It was nauseating and dizzying. A leg hooked behind his, pulling his feet out from under him, ending the fight.

  


Kanan lay on the floor for a few seconds, getting his mind about him. The Ghost’s rattling stopped suddenly. From his position on the floor, he glanced at his crew to make sure they were okay. Sabine’s blaster was pointed at the boy, who appeared to have passed out, curled into a ball of orange, brown, and blue in the corner of the cargo bay. Sabine must have stunned him, he realized. 

  


“What was  _ that? _ ” the Mandolorian exclaimed, her blaster still pointed towards the boy. Kanan groaned and sat up slowly, waving Zeb away when he tried to help. 

  


“Sabine, you can put away your blaster. I’m okay,” he said, lifting a hand to his forehead. He could already feel a knot forming. He moved his hand further up his head, where his ponytail had been ruined from when the boy grabbed his hair. 

  


“How can you say that!? This kid just attacked you out of nowhere! Why’d you let him on board?” Sabine said, waving her blaster around. 

  


Kanan opened his mouth to explain as he fixed his hair. “I can’t explain it now. It’s too long of a story. I promise I will tell you, okay? Hera needs me right now, though. She’ll need you guys to get to your gunner position, too. Zeb can stay with him for now. You can put a pair of cuffs on him, and if it makes you feel better, you can put them behind his back. Okay? I promise you I will explain later,” he reassured the other two. 

  


Sabine opened her mouth to say something, but Hera’s voice came over the comms. Zeb’s complaint about being a babysitter was drowned out by, “I could really use you guys right about now!” The teenage girl looked back at the boy, who hadn’t moved. “Fine, but only because Zeb is staying” she said, looking unhappy but accepting the statement for now. Digging through a crate in the corner, she found a pair of cuffs. Maneuvering the boy’s arms behind his back, she put them on lightly, before reconsidering and tightening them.

  


“Don’t put them on too tight.”

  


“Kanan, he literally attacked you for no re-”

  


“Sabine.” Kanan’s voice was firm. She sighed and complied, before hurrying out of the room to her gunner’s seat. “Zeb. Don’t do anything remotely scary when he wakes up. Just watch him, and comm me if he starts panicking again.” The Lasat rolled his eyes, but mumbled an agreement. 

  


The human male sighed, looking back at the boy curled in the corner for one second longer, before scaling the ladder to the cockpit. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Ezra's point of view.

From the moment he awoke, he knew that something was coming today. A change. Something had shifted ever-so-slightly overnight, leaving Ezra anticipating, expecting. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it was important. 

Sitting up off of his makeshift bed in the abandoned comms tower, he glanced around, eyes blurred from sleep. Stormtrooper helmets littered the shelves, the box with his old house’s key sat on the small table. He would know if someone had come in, the turbolift clanked every time it was used, and there wasn’t another way in. Everything looked the same as it usually did, so why did he feel so on-edge? Ezra sighed, picking himself up from the nest of blankets in the corner and dismissing the dregs of the nightmare that had awoken him. 

Today was not the day he needed this change to happen. He was running low on supplies. As he opened the cabinet above his table, he realized he had very little food. He was going to have to go into Capital City to either find work or steal food. Probably the latter. 

Running his fingers through his too-long hair, he looked down at his clothes. The jumpsuit he had stolen from his dad’s drawer the last time he had gone to his old house hung loose on his body. It had dirt caked in certain spots, but there wasn’t much he could do about that now. He put a hand to his side, feeling a twinge. Kriff. He’d forgotten to unwrap his chest before he went to bed. 

Ezra sighed, mentally preparing himself for the crowds as he made his way to the lift. He did not want to deal with this today. 

\---

Ezra dodged around a corner into an alley, winded and ribs hurting. His head pounded from where a trooper had clipped it with the butt of a blaster. Crates blocked one end of the alley from sight, with a narrow street intersecting on the far right end, making an “L” shape. Ducking behind a crate in the corner, he peered around the side as two stormtroopers ran into sight. “Where’d the little maggot go?” one asked. The other shrugged, “Don’t know. Split up. He can’t have gotten far.” One started down the alleyway he hid in, the other going the opposite direction.  _ Shit, _ he thought, trying to control his labored breathing. He held his breath, listening for the telltale footfalls of the troopers. When they passed his hiding spot and were long gone, he let out a slow breath. He’d gotten away with about half of the food that he needed, and had managed to pickpocket a decent amount of credits without getting caught.

He had just turned to scale the building’s wall when, out of nowhere, Ezra felt a prickle on the back of his neck. Instinctively, he ran a hand down the hair there. The feeling didn’t go away. A strange sensation of a presence infiltrated his mind. It didn’t hurt, but still, he panicked at the foreign feeling, eyes widening, breath becoming short and erratic. He knew of people who forced their way into other’s thoughts, taking what they wanted and gleaning information from the victim. Despite the gentleness of the feeling, he didn’t want anyone in his mind. Ezra closed his eyes, slamming his shields down. Thankfully, the presence didn’t try to force their way through. 

When he opened his eyes again, still keeping his shields down, he saw that the crates around him had been forced into a careless semicircle, as if a shockwave had pushed them. Ezra heard the voices of the stormtroopers heading back his way, probably having heard the crash. He decided not to hang around, so he scaled the wall easily, before leaping across rooftops towards the market square. 

\---

Hours later, he was still struggling to get the food he needed. His stomach growled, and he reached into his pack to grab a yogan. 

As he bit into it, Ezra felt something calling to him again. He closed his eyes, content to just ignore it. The call grew in intensity, so suddenly that he almost fell over. Sighing, he stood up, eyes still closed, and identified the direction it was coming from. Finally opening his eyes, he took seven steps back, before running at the gap between the building he was on and the next one over. He landed in a roll, popping out of it and smoothly making his way to the next roof. Over and over, he rolled and ran, until the call lessened. His body ached from the physical strain he’d put on it. 

  
Steadying his breathing, he looked around to see what had been so insistent on bringing him here. A dark-haired man, clad in a green shirt and armor on one shoulder caught his attention. He was facing the other direction, but something in Ezra sang when he peered closer. He gently unshielded, feeling for the man curiously. The man gave off the same presence as what had been in his mind earlier. When he got the sense the man had felt him, he fearfully pulled back. 

Still, he watched as the man walked near a tall, hairy, purple figure resting in an archway and patted his leg twice. The purple guy moved out from under arch, taking a position by a stack of crates in the corner, as the dark-haired man moved over to a shorter girl clad in brightly-colored armor. The man repeated the tapping to the girl, who tapped three times in response.  _ Interesting, _ he thought.

Ezra watched as the armored girl strolled by a trooper standing beside a speeder, tossing something onto the vehicle. The trooper turned and was about to say something, reaching a hand out, when he was sent flying into a wall by the force of an explosion behind him. The object tossed must have been a detonator, Ezra realized. Tuning back into what was happening in the square, he overheard an Imperial official calling to other troopers in the square next to three loaded speeders. “Get those crates out of here! Keep them secure at all costs!”

_ I like the sound of that, _ Ezra thought to himself. If he could get one of those crates and sell whatever was in it, he’d have enough credits to last him for a while.

He followed them through the streets, easily leaping between buildings. Pausing on a rooftop, he watched as the man in the green shirt from earlier backed a speeder across a street, blocking the path of the speeders. He said some quip before leaping out and kicking the lead trooper in the face and whipping a blaster out to fire at the other two. His first bolt hit home, burning a hole in the chest armor of a trooper. The other bolts missed, and the man had to duck behind some crates to miss getting shot by the other trooper. Footsteps pounded down the alley as more stormtroopers came to secure the cargo.  _ He’s not going to make it! _ Ezra thought, just as the purple guy from earlier raced up behind the Imperials, grabbing them and throwing them against each other with enough force to knock them out. 

_ My time to shine, _ he thought, jumping down from the roof onto the lead speeder. Smiling in the man’s direction, he grabbed the controls to the speeder. As he backed out of the alley, the purple hairy guy swiped at him, but he easily ducked out of the way. Just before he turned the corner, he met the man’s eyes, saluting cockily. 

Closing his eyes, he followed his instincts, dodging around corners, racing down streets. He felt a thump on his cargo, and when he turned to see who had caught him, he saw the armored girl from earlier. He swerved, trying to get her off. “Pretty gutsy move, kid,” she said, whipping a blaster out. “If the big guy catches you, he’ll end you!” she warned, shooting the connection between the two crates. He nodded, taking off towards the outskirts of town and the road that led to his tower. 

\----

After being blown off his speeder by a TIE explosion, Ezra was so done with the day. This was not at all how he planned it going. He rolled over in the tall grass, slowly getting to his feet. His ears picked up the sound of the TIE coming back to finish the job. The fighter broke out of the cloud cover and flew straight towards him. Ezra could feel the pilot’s fingers tightening on the trigger when it exploded in the air. 

Turning, he saw a large ship hovering above the Lothal plains. The tall man who had started the heist stood on the open cargo bay door. “You want a ride?” he asked casually. He looked around, weighing his options. This man’s sense of familiarity did nothing to calm him. Ezra looked up warily. Glancing behind the ship, four TIE fighters approached. “Kid, you got a better option? Come on!” the man exclaimed. He realized that the man was right. Ezra ran to the crate that had somehow survived the explosion, activated the hover, and ran back towards the open door of the ship. “Just leave it! You’re never gonna make it!” Something in him told him that he could. He grabbed lower on the crate, lifting it up, and then reached deep inside him and sprung towards the ship. The edge of the crate landed squarely on the bay door, and Ezra hauled himself inside. 

After climbing into the ship, Ezra sat on one knee, his ribs screaming in protest of the physicality of the day. Looking up, he recognized the armored girl and the purple hairy guy from the square. He looked to the left and got a good look at the man who had felt in his mind. Panicking, Ezra jumped up, driving a fist into the man’s stomach. When he doubled over, he grabbed a fistful of dark hair and slammed it down onto his knee. As he fought, he could vaguely feel the ship rattling around him. Hooking a leg behind the taller man’s, he swept the man’s feet out from under him. Ezra looked up to a blaster being pointed directly at him. His fear spiked and he backed into a corner, curling into a ball. His arms flew up to protect his face just before a stun blast hit him. He fell into blissful unconsciousness. 

  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra is introduced. Kanan and Ezra have a talk.

“You said this was a routine op. What happened down there?” Hera asked as soon as Kanan got to the cockpit. Chopper grumbled at Kanan’s feet, warbling about how his missions always went downhill.

“Ugh, please, Chopper, it’s been a difficult morning,” the man said, trying to keep his balance as Hera dodged and maneuvered.

“He’s got a point, love. We’ve got four TIE fighters closing in.” 

Kanan sighed. In an attempt to dodge the question and as a response to the bolts of fire rattling the ship, he commented, “Hera, how about a little less attitude and a little more altitude?” He then proceeded to wince as she spun hard to the left. He went flying into his seat. His hand instinctively went to his head, which had begun to ache. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you did that on purpose.”

“If you knew better, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Seriously, Kanan. What happened down there? And why is there a bruise on your forehead?” the pilot asked, ever inquisitive. 

He looked back at the video monitor for the cargo bay. The blue-haired boy still sat in the corner, unconscious. “He did.” Zeb stood by the ladder, watching him and wiping down his bo-rifle. Hadn’t he told him  _ not _ to do anything threatening? At least if the kid tried to attack Zeb, he wouldn’t get very far. 

  
“A kid tripped you up? Does this have anything to do with your feeling from earlier? Spill it.” Hera demanded. 

“Aren’t you a little busy at the moment?” Kanan asked, trying to dodge the question. He didn’t want to go into how much fear he felt radiating from the kid. 

“Spill.” Hera’s voice left no room to argue.    
  
Kanan sighed. “Yes, he’s the reason the Force felt different this morning. I tried meditating to connect with him before I came out of my room. It didn’t go very well. He’s got a bright Force-signature, but as soon as he felt I was there, he was terrified. Kid shut me out pretty quickly, though. Felt him watching us during the first part of the op, then he jumped down from a roof and stole one of the speeders and got pretty far. Held onto the crate with troopers and a TIE at his back. It was strange, though. He went the same way we had planned to go. I think the kid might be Force-sensitive,” he explained. 

“That would make sense. If he was that scared, his emotions could have been making the ship go crazy earlier. That doesn’t explain the bruise on your head, dear. How’d you get that?”

“He attacked me. Kneed me in the head before Sabine could stun him.”

“Hold on. You just told me that Sabine stunned this kid, who is scared?” Hera asked incredulously. 

  
“Yeah. She put cuffs on him too. She thinks he’s dangerous, but my guess is that he must’ve figured out it was me from earlier. I think he was scared I was going to force him to do something. He was terrified, Hera. It was pretty overwhelming, even for me.” 

“Well, he sounds like some kid. You’re telling me he held onto a crate of blasters with troopers on his tail? Impressive.” 

“Yeah, for a kid. He’s still a street rat. I don’t know, Hera,” Kanan said, knowing the pilot would want to bring him on board. He looked out the window of the cockpit as Sabine destroyed the final TIE. 

“We’ve got to try to help him. We don’t know what he’s been through, but we can try to make it better for him,” Hera said as she pulled the lever to launch the ship into hyperspace. 

“I hope we can get him to trust us, first.” 

They sat in silence for another few minutes, peacefully watching the blue of hyperspace around them, before the ship began rattling again. He felt a familiar terror run down his spine. “You’d better go see what’s wrong,” Hera commented. Kanan sighed once before getting up and walking over to the ladder. 

“Do...do you think he’ll want to become one of us?” he asked, looking back, not understanding his need to connect to the boy. 

Hera turned, meeting his eyes. “I think there’s always a chance, love,” she reassured quietly. “But if you don’t hurry, the ship might not last.” Kanan nodded, before turning and sliding down the ladder. 

  
  


\-----

A sudden jolt woke Ezra. His head pounded as he regained consciousness. Keeping his breathing steady, he took stock of what was going on around him. He was curled up in a corner, head lolled back onto some sort of slanted metal. His legs were cramped slightly, probably from their position. He couldn’t feel his arms, but he knew they were still attached to his body. It would hurt more than the numbness that was there. 

  
Tentatively, he lifted a few shields, feeling out the place where he was. A semi-familiar signature was in the same room as he, and he felt three other signatures in the nearby vicinity. 

“I know you’re awake, kid,” a gruff voice came. “No sense in hiding it.” 

Ezra opened his eyes to see the purple hairy guy from earlier, cleaning some sort of long weapon. He shifted, going to brush the hair out of his face. When he moved one of his hands, the other went with.  _ Shit, _ he thought, realizing that his arms were cuffed behind his back. How was he supposed to communicate with them if he couldn’t use his hands? The thought echoed through his head, gaining in intensity. Ezra’s breathing quickened as he began to panic. Vaguely, he could feel the ship rattling around him.  _ Shit,  _ he thought again, remembering what had gotten him into this situation. The purple hairy not-man abruptly stood up off the crate, still holding his weapon. Despite being feet away, Ezra still flinched at each step as the person moved closer. He curled up tighter into himself, closing his eyes and waiting for a blow. His breathing was harsh and ragged at this point. 

“Zeb? What’s he doing?” a female voice came. He recognized it. It came from the brightly colored girl who had landed on the speeder as he was getting away and who had stunned him. He opened his eyes, narrowing them at the pair.

“I ‘on’t know, he just started freakin’ out,” the gruff voice - Zeb - said, backing away a few steps. 

“Well, can’t you try to calm him down?” 

“Oh yeah, ‘cause I’m great at that.” 

“Okay, fine. I’ll try.” Ezra opened his eyes as the girl came forward, almost at a crouch. “Hey, kid, what’s your name?” she asked, taking off her helmet and setting it to the side. She had blueish-purple hair that faded down into an orange. Hazel eyes peered out brightly from underneath bangs. The girl moved closer, reaching out a hand in an attempt to be reassuring. Ezra tried moving his hands out from behind him to sign, but the reminder of his inability to use his hands sent another wave of panic through him. He was hyperventilating at this point, too consumed by panic to recognize the third person entering the cargo bay from above. He could feel his ribs cracking through the haze of fear.

“Sabine, I wouldn’t do that if I were --” the man started, reaching forward to grab the girl just as she touched him. At the sudden motion, Ezra shut his eyes and  _ pushed out _ .

He took a few deep breaths, trying to control his breathing. When he finally regained control, he opened his eyes again. The cargo bay was a mess, objects having been flung away from…from him? The three bodies had been tossed across the room. Had he done this? Ezra wondered as he looked at the chaos. Quickly sitting up on his knees, he reached into his shoe and pulled out a lockpick. In his panic, he’d forgotten he always kept one on him. He carefully undid the restraints, tossing them aside and rubbing his wrists where they had rubbed from his pulling. 

“Kanan? Everything okay down there?” another female called. Ezra froze, having forgotten about the fourth person. The man in the green shirt groaned, holding a hand to his head. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Everything’s okay down here, don’t worry about it,” he called back up, looking around the room. His eyes landed on Ezra, and the boy froze. “Hey, kid,” he said softly, keeping his motions slow and his hands where Ezra could see them. Still, he had attacked this man, and he wasn’t sure if he would attack back. “Can you hear me?” 

He stood quickly, backing himself into the corner where he had woken up. Looking around, he cursed himself for not thinking of a plan while he could. He reached for his energy slingshot on his arm, pulling back and aiming. “Woah, hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” the man - Kanan, was he called? - said gently, keeping his voice low. He moved two steps closer and sat down cross legged in the middle of the cargo bay, just watching. Ezra hesitated, lowering his slingshot and releasing the energy. “Can you hear me?” he asked again.

Ezra wondered how he knew, but nodded in response to the man’s question.  _ Who are you? _ Ezra signed, keeping his hands as low as possible while making it obvious that he was using his hands to speak.

“I-I’m sorry, kid, I don’t understand. Maybe Sabine…” he trailed off.

“He asked, who are you,” the girl’s voice came from the corner. Ezra’s head shot up and he grabbed his slingshot again, aiming it in that direction. The brightly colored girl stood up slowly, hands hovering over her blasters. “It’s Lothalian sign language. What’s it to you, kid?” she asked, rather aggressively.

“Sabine _. _ I know you’re still mad about earlier, and I will explain. Just let me talk to the kid. I need you to translate for me.”

“Fine,” she huffed, very clearly not excited about her role. 

“Alright,” he said, turning back to Ezra, who still had his hand on his slingshot and was eyeing the pair warily. “I’m Kanan, and this is Sabine. The big Lasat over there is Zeb, and Hera is piloting the ship.” 

The girl snorted. “You’re just gonna tell him everything, huh?” she said, swinging her hand out. Ezra recoiled further into his corner.

“ _ Sabine. _ There’s a reason why he attacked me. Let me talk to him, okay?” Kanan said, his voice growing slightly louder as he let a hint of his frustration seep into his voice. Ezra flinched and tried to make himself smaller. “What’s your name?” he asked.

_ E-Z-R-A,  _ he signed, this time in Basic, before quickly running two fingers down his left cheek. He remembered a vision of himself where he had two twin scars there. 

“I know Basic sign language, so you’re off the hook, Sabine.” Kanan said, glancing over at the teenager.

In the corner, Zeb stirred. “...gonna end that maggot…” came out of his mouth in a growl as he came to, rubbing his head. Ezra quickly looked around the room, trying to find a way to escape. Nothing stuck out to him. All he had was his slingshot to fight his way out. 

As he pulled his arm back once more, Kanan stepped in. “Woah, Ezra, calm down. He doesn’t actually mean that. He’s just kind of...well, he’s kind of grumpy. I won’t let him hurt you.” Ezra looked at the Lasat suspiciously, before slowly lowering his arm. His hand still rested by the energy slingshot, ready to spring into action.

“Can we ask you a few questions?” the man asked, staying low to the ground across the room from him. Next to him, Zeb sat up with a groan, opening his olive green eyes to watch what was happening. His ears flicked, curious. 

Ezra warily nodded. _ If I get to ask some about you.  _

To his surprise, Kanan chuckled. “I suppose that’s fair. First: How old are you?”

_ 14. _

“Where are you from?” 

_ Capital City.  _

“I meant like, where do you live? Someone’s probably looking for you.”

He snorted, a puff of air coming from his nose _. An old comms tower outside of the city. And no one’s looking for me.  _

  
  
  


Kanan nodded solemnly. If someone had been, they might not have lasted under his simmering anger at whoever made this kid so scared and jumpy. “That’s alright. Are you injured?” he asked cautiously. Ezra thought for a second before shaking his head. “Can I get you some clean clothes? Those are looking pretty dirty. We could run them through the wash,” Kanan offered, trying to get the kid to open up a little bit. He kept his mind open, shielded lightly, in an effort to be comforting. He felt Ezra reaching instinctively for the warmth that radiated off the older man. 

Ezra seemed satisfied at what he had felt, but let himself sit in the light for a few minutes after he had finished his investigation of the man’s true intentions. He nodded, still not entirely trusting. He liked Kanan, but was still very unsure about the other two. 

Kanan gestured toward the ladder. “C’mon, kiddo. They’re not going to hurt you. Right guys?” he asked pointedly. Both rolled their eyes, in sync, which Ezra thought was very funny. He stifled a small laugh despite his anxiety. He walked over to the ladder, keeping his back close to the wall. When he got there, he realized he had a problem. He couldn’t climb up without turning his back to the crew of the ship.  _ Fuck, _ he thought. Sighing, he realized he would just have to get up the ladder as fast as possible. He waited until the last possible second to scramble up the apparatus. Two “woahs” came from the lower floor once he got to the top. Ezra looked down the ladder to see Kanan climbing up after him, at a much slower pace. 

Once both were at the top, Ezra looked at the older man, waiting to be led. Turning on his heel, Kanan led him by a series of cabins. As they walked by them, he told Ezra who stayed where. His was the last one on the left. As he keyed open the door, the lights came on in the small room. He walked over to the dresser, taking a stack of clothes out from a few different drawers. “Here are some things for you to change into while we wash your outfit,” Kanan said, handing the stack to the younger. “They’ll probably be a bit big. You can come in and change here,” he stated as he realized the boy had not moved from the doorway. “I can wait in the hallway, if you want, or you can wander around when you’re done changing, if you’d like to do that.” Ezra nodded, moving a palm to sign  _ hall _ with one hand. 

Left alone in Kanan’s room, he reached around with his senses to make sure there were no recording devices before dropping his bag on the floor. Quickly, he took off his pants, then his shirt. Raising his arms above his head hurt like hell as it stretched his ribs. He peeled the bandages off his chest, slightly bloody from sores ripped open, wincing as he did so. Feeling the lesions, he took a sharp breath in. He was pretty sure something was broken. He didn’t realize he had left his mind unshielded until Kanan called from the hallway. “Ezra? You okay in there? Knock once for yes, twice for no.” 

What could he do? He could knock once, and keep his secret. Or, he could maybe get some actual medical help before he got off the ship, but risk the disapproval of these somehow familiar strangers. 

Ezra sighed, having made up his mind. Throwing the old grey t-shirt and loose shorts that he’d been given, he walked over to the door and knocked twice. It opened almost immediately, Kanan having anticipated that the boy had lied to him about not being injured earlier. Anxiety twisted in Ezra’s gut as the man’s eyes swept down his body, looking for injuries. It felt too familiar from some things that had happened in the streets for him to be comfortable with it, but he did need help. “Where are you hurt? I need you to show me so I can help you.” 

Ezra bit his lip before stepping back to let Kanan further into the room. The doors  _ whooshed _ shut behind the man. This felt so much worse, being alone with no one else to see what happened. His anxiety spiked high again, and he didn’t realize that he’d begun to hyperventilate until Kanan’s warm presence opened up again and he mentally curled up in the light. The man’s voice came filtering through as he calmed down. “--eathe Ezra, I need you to breathe for me. That’s better. Just breathe, bud. I’m not going to do anything you don’t tell me to do.” Ezra looked Kanan in the eyes, startled at the last one. He’d never really had anyone give him that agency before, but all he saw was truth in the Kanan’s teal eyes. “Can you show me where you’re injured?” he asked.

  
He sighed, lifting the soft tee up high enough to still cover his chest, but reveal the myriad of bruising left behind on his ribcage. Kanan hissed as he did so, and Ezra almost dropped the shirt back down, the thought of actually getting help the only thing keeping him going.

“Alright. Where did you get these injuries? They’re infected. Gonna need some bacta,” Kanan stated, crouching down to get a closer look. Ezra avoided the man’s eyes, but Kanan noticed the bandage that had been kicked into a corner. He looked confused for a moment before the realization hit him. “Ah. It’s okay. You don’t have to say it out loud. We’re not going to throw you out or anything. It’s perfectly normal.” 

Ezra cocked his head, shocked at his reaction. Most people usually told him he was disgusting, but here this man was, telling him it was okay? Maybe he could be trusted. He zoned back into what the older man was saying. “...but you can’t keep binding with bandages. They’ve probably already fucked up your ribs, but I can keep an eye out for an actual binder. I think Sabine has some compression shirts I could borrow for you for the time. But,” Kanan said, meeting Ezra’s eyes, “you can’t bind until this clears up. I can give you some looser shirts to wear that’ll hide it, and a big jacket or two, but you’ve got to let your side heal.” The blue-haired boy sighed. He felt disgusting without his chest bound, but he knew that Kanan was right. “After we get your ribs fixed up, I’m going to get something for you to eat. They should not be showing that much. But first, we have to go to the medbay to get bacta,” Kanan said, grabbing a large jacket off of the hooks beside his door and handing it to Ezra, who accepted and quickly put it on. The jacket was huge, reaching down to mid-thigh on the small boy, who flapped the too-long sleeves around when he was ready. 

Before they left the room, Ezra grabbed Kanan’s sleeve to get his attention.  _ I’m sorry for attacking you earlier, _ he signed.

To his surprise, the dark haired man chuckled. “It’s okay, kid. I could feel how scared you were, and I don’t blame you. It might take some work to convince Sabine and Zeb, but I won’t let them hurt you. We do need to have a conversation about what happened, but that can wait for now. You’re safe here, okay?” he said, meeting Ezra’s blue eyes. The boy nodded solemnly, not blinking. “C’mon. Let’s go get you fixed up.”

\----

In the medbay, Kanan prepared the boneknitter and bacta patches. “Is it like that on both sides?” he asked, glancing back at the boy, who nodded. “I’m going to need to touch you. Is that okay?” Ezra nodded again, trying not to flinch. The older man placed a gentle hand on the younger’s ribs, slowly feeling through the Force for what was broken. He tried to ignore how the boy would jerk every time he moved. Having come to a conclusion, he walked Ezra through what he was preparing. “This is a boneknitter. It’s pretty self-explanatory. I’m going to put it on your thirteenth rib, which is broken. It’s going to hurt a little bit. If you want, I can give you some pain meds with a sedative and you can sleep while it and the bacta do their work, or meds that don’t make you sleepy. But it’s up to you. You’re safe here,” Kanan told him, trying to be reassuring. 

Ezra closed his eyes, coming to a decision.  _ Okay _ , he signed,  _ but not the ones with the sedative. _

“I can make that happen,” Kanan said, moving to get the meds from a cabinet. “I’m not giving you too much, since you seem to be pretty light. Here you go.” Ezra accepted the two small pills, and before Kanan could get water, he dry swallowed. 

_ Thank you _ , Ezra signed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the bed, lifting up his shirt so Kanan could put the bacta and boneknitter on. Once in place, he felt a soft blanket covering his body. It was a foreign feeling, and he started slightly. 

“Just making sure you’re comfortable, kid,” Kanan said when he met his eyes. The boneknitter began humming, and Ezra felt the uncomfortable twinges of his body beginning to put itself together. “Do you want to get some sleep? I know you still have questions. I have some answering to do to my crew, and it might be easier if you’re there. I won’t tell them anything you don’t want me to, and I promise that they won’t hurt you. What do you think?” Ezra could feel the openness of his mind, the warmth and light and truth.

He still felt wary, but nodded his agreement from the cot.  _ Only if I get to ask questions, too. _

“It’s a deal, kid. Let’s let that healing get some progress on it, and then we can go talk to the others.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ghost crew adds to their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading!  
> I just wanted to let y'all know that this is going to be the last update for a while. My semester is almost done, and when it is, I'll have more time to write.   
> Thanks so much for sticking with me!

Kanan kept his mind open as he stretched in his chair. Ezra shifted on the cot, probably trying to get into a more comfortable position. Boneknitters were effective, but far from a luxury experience. Standing up, he rubbed the back of his neck, before going to the drawer with the ice packs.  _ Probably should have iced it sooner, _ he thought, wincing as the cold permeated his skin. 

“Alright, kid, I’ve gotta use the fresher. I can lock the door so no one except me or Hera, our pilot, can come in. You okay with that?” Kanan asked, meeting the boy’s eyes. When Ezra nodded, he walked towards the door, ice pack still on his head. He left the medbay with one final glance at Ezra, assuring himself that he would be right back. Unsurprisingly, Sabine was lying in wait right outside the door. 

“So,” she began coolly. “Are you going to tell us what all of this is about?” 

“‘Bine, I’ve got to use the ‘fresher, and then Ezra and I will come answer your questions.” Kanan answered, locking the door behind him. 

“What’s so special about this kid?” she asked bluntly. “And what’s up with you? You don’t usually take care of people like this. Something’s up, and I want to know what it is..” 

Kanan sighed, slightly exasperated at the fiery teen. “Let me use the fresher and as soon as I’m done with that, I’ll call a family meeting and I’ll tell you everything.” 

Sabine huffed, not completely satisfied with the answer. “Fine. But don’t take too long.”

\----

Despite Sabine’s protests, he did take longer in the ‘fresher than he normally did, gathering his thoughts. His crew knew that he had been a Jedi when the Empire took over. He wasn’t worried about that. What he was worried about was how they would see him. He’d never been as low as Ezra was, but he had also been a terrified kid on the run. Kanan didn’t want his crew -- his  _ family _ \-- to see him weak.

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. “Kanan, I know you’re stalling,” Sabine’s voice came from the other side of the wall. He sighed.  _ Time to face the music. _

He opened the fresher door to see the bright teen sassily leaning against the wall. “Did you call everyone?” Getting a nod of confirmation, he sighed. “Let me grab Ezra from the medbay, and then we’ll be right there. But you have to promise not to be hostile in any way towards the kid. He’s come from some hard stuff and is feeling really vulnerable right now. Remember how you were when we found you?” Kanan asked gently. Sabine nodded warily. “He’s in a similar situation. So please, go easy on him.” 

She sighed. “Okay. There are still a lot of things to explain, though. You’d better not leave any details out. Go get the kid and we’ll be in the common room.” Kanan nodded, turning down the hallway towards the medbay. 

\---

  
  


Kanan entered the common room first, Ezra trailing a few steps behind him, the blanket from the medbay draped over his small frame and dragging across the durasteel floor. The rest of his crew was waiting. Kanan sighed, stepping aside and bringing the boy forwards. His anxiety was almost palpable in the air. The older man slipped into the dejarik booth beside Hera, scooting over to make room for Ezra. He remained in the doorway, looking like he wanted to run. 

“You promised you’d tell us, and I need to know what’s going on,” Sabine said from her station next to the wall. She’d adopted her pose from earlier, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. 

“Okay,” he nodded. Hera reached over and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “This morning, I woke up and just knew something was going to change. The Force had changed somehow. I tried meditating to figure out what was up, and I managed to connect to someone. It was Ezra,” he began, looking over at the boy. “He sensed me pretty quickly and shut me out, but later, during the op, I felt him watching. When he stole the crates from us, I somehow knew that he was important,” Kanan explained.

Zeb grunted from the corner. “So you’re going off of a feeling? Kanan, the little bug attacked you for no reason!” he exclaimed. “Threw the three of us clean across the room!.”

“I’m with Zeb on this one,” Sabine added. “How do you know we can trust him?”

Ezra made himself smaller in the doorway, looking very much like he would rather be anywhere else. 

“You guys don’t know how scared he was. He attacked me probably because I tried to connect with him earlier and he didn’t want anyone in his head. He’s not going to hurt you guys.” Kanan explained, looking at Ezra, who had been moving his hand toward the door controls, ready to book it. His hand stilled as he felt Kanan’s eyes on him. “You were overwhelmed by what was happening. You’d just hopped on board a foreign ship with people who you weren’t sure you could trust.” 

The blue haired boy signed,  _ I felt you in my head earlier. I’d heard of people who force their way in and take anything they want, and I wasn’t sure if that was what was happening. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  _ Sabine translated out loud. 

Kanan turned to Ezra. “I’m sorry we cuffed you when you came on board. I told Sabine it was okay to put them behind you. She thought you were dangerous after you attacked me, and I gave her instructions to do it. I didn’t know that you were mute. I’m sorry. That was on me.” The young boy nodded, eyes wide. 

“What about the flinging us across the cargo bay?” Sabine questioned, still concerned.

_ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, _ Ezra signed again, starting to breathe faster.

“Ezra, honey, it’s okay. Breathe. We’re not mad at you,” Hera’s soft voice came from the other side of Kanan. She leaned forwards, concern clear on her face. “We’re just trying to understand what happened.” 

Kanan sighed. “I think Ezra is Force-sensitive. It would explain how I was able to connect to him, and how he was able to shut me out so quickly. He was overwhelmed earlier, and did the only thing his instincts could think of to protect himself.” 

The crew looked to Ezra, who nodded.  _ Some of my family was Force-sensitive. My aunt taught me to shield.  _

“If you wanted to, you could stay with us.” Kanan offered. “I was trained in the Force, and I could give you some instruction.”

“What!?!?” Sabine and Zeb exclaimed at the same time. “Even after what happened earlier?!” Sabine added. 

“ _ Sabine _ . Zeb. Hera and I have talked about it, and we think that Ezra could be a great addition to our crew. If he wants to. The choice is up to him,” Kanan added.

Once again, the group looked to Ezra. The blue-haired boy shrunk into himself as he thought.  _ I think I’d like that, _ he signed.  _ If everyone is okay with it. I don’t want to be a burden. _

Kanan and Hera both nodded, Zeb joining them. Sabine rolled her eyes. “Fine,” the teenager said, looking unhappy about it. 

“Hera, could you get Ezra some food and then help him get set up in the spare room? We can find a different place for some of those crates in there,” Kanan asked, standing up.

“Sure thing, love. Come on, Ezra. We can grab you some more blankets from the storage closet.” At that, the younger boy perked up, and a ghost of a smile flitted across his face as the pair left the room.

“Sabine, Zeb, can I talk to you guys?” Kanan asked once he heard the two reach the landing. Sabine eyed him suspiciously, but nodded. 

“I really need you guys to be nice to Ezra. Someone or something, probably both, have got him scared. I asked you earlier, and I’m asking again.”

“Kanan, he--”

“I know, Sabine, but you don’t know how scared he was. I connected with him, and almost drowned in his terror. I’ve only ever felt that scared a few times in my life, and the first time was when I was a year younger than him. Do you remember when we found you guys? How you felt?”

“Yes, but--”

“Ezra’s the exact same way. He’s just a scared kid. He needs help. He’s starving. You can see almost every rib. He’s got scars covering his body, and it doesn’t seem like they were accidental. Someone’s done something to him, and it’s hurt him to the point where he’s gone silent,” Kanan told them. “I thought I’d been low, but I’ve never been that low before,” he added with a whisper, looking down. 

Sabine sighed, looking guiltily at the floor. “I guess I was a little bit hostile earlier. I think that Ezra could be a great addition to our crew.” Zeb rubbed the back of his head and nodded his agreement. 

“Alright. Can you guys start cleaning out the spare room for him? I'm gonna go make sure the kid is settling in okay. He’s been through a lot,” Kanan said, standing up. Pausing, he added, “And…thank you guys. For trusting me on this.” 

  
  


\-----

“I’m afraid we don’t have much in the way of food right now. We’ve got some fruit, some crackers, and a lot of the not-terrible kind of ration bars. Oh! We’ve got a few waffles left, if you want those. You can take your pick,” Hera told Ezra, leading him into the galley and beginning to pull various food out of cabinets. “Oh, and we also have some tea and hot chocolate, if you’d like some of that. You can sit at the table, if you’d like.”

Ezra slid into a seat in the corner of the room, where he could see everything going on.  _ Could I have waffles, please? _ he asked. 

“Sure thing, hon,” she said, putting a few into the toaster. “Do you want anything else? Something to drink? I’m going to make some tea, so water will be hot.” The pilot reached over and flipped on the electric kettle. 

_ Some hot chocolate, if you have some to spare. _

“Of course. Anytime you want anything, you can come get it, okay?” Hera replied, getting two mugs from a cabinet by the sink. She pulled two small boxes down before closing the cabinet gently. “I can’t promise that we’ll always have stuff like hot chocolate, but if you want some, you can have some. It’s here for everyone.” She leaned against the counter as the kettle began to hiss. Pouring the hot water into the two mugs, Hera swirled the drinks with a spoon before handing the kid his hot chocolate with a smile. The toaster dinged, and she turned and put the waffles on a plate, handing that to Ezra, too. 

Ezra pulled Kanan’s jacket closer around his shoulders as Hera sat down across from him, hunching over his food, eyeing the Twi’lek as if she was going to take the waffles from him. As if reading his thoughts, she leaned back in her chair, giving him more space. He relaxed a little bit, before plowing in as quickly as he could. 

“Woah, Ezra, slow down. I’m not going to take your food, okay? If you eat too quickly, you’ll get sick,” Hera remarked. The boy met her eyes and paused, before nodding and resuming at a slower pace. “I’m sure you have questions, too. I can answer them while you eat, if you’d like,” she added. Ezra nodded, setting down his waffle to sign. 

_ Who are you people? _

Hera laughed, a clear sound that made Ezra want to smile. “We’re kind of a ragtag group. I found Chop back in the Clone Wars. Kanan joined me when I was eighteen, and we just added to the crew since then. We fight back in small ways against the Empire, trying to help as many people as possible. It’s gotten us into some sticky situations, but it’s better than leaving them to die.”

_ Who’s Chop? _ Ezra asked, tilting his head in question. 

As if summoned, the droid rolled through the door, grumbling and waving his arms around. Ezra jumped, eyes widening as he noticed the astromech. Hera watched, startled, as the boy flew out of his chair and backed into the corner, curling into fetal position with his arms around his head. His eyes glazed over and his breathing grew heavier. Dishes began to rattle in their cabinets. Frantically, Ezra began signing.

_ I’m sorry i’ll be good please don’t use him i’ll be good i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry _

“Woah, Ezra, it’s okay. Breathe for me, focus on my voice. I need you to breathe, okay? Chopper, go bother Kanan or something. It’s okay, hon, you’re safe here.” Hera moved the chair Ezra had been sitting in out of the way, where she could kneel next to him. “It’s okay, Ezra. Breathe,” she repeated, trying to calm the panicking boy. “We’re not going to do anything to you, okay?” He looked up at that, blue eyes wide as saucers. The rattling stopped suddenly, now that Ezra’s focus was on Hera. 

Kanan burst into the room, having felt the boy’s panic. Hera looked at him, waving her hand to signal that she had this under control. He paused in the doorway, looking at the pair, before leaving. Hera knew he was waiting right outside, and was listening in on what she was saying. 

_ You’re not going to…. _ Ezra signed shakily, trailing off. 

“We’re not going to do anything that you don’t tell us to do to you, unless you’re injured, okay? And only to take care of it so it doesn’t get worse. And even then, we’ll always ask for permission before we do anything,” Hera told him. “You’re safe here, okay? That’s just my astromech, Chopper. I won’t let him do anything to you, okay? He helps me run the ship and hack on ops.”

The boy nodded, wiping his eyes with his too-long sleeve.  _ I’m sorry, _ he signed again, this time much more calmly. 

“Oh, hon, it’s okay. It’s okay, kiddo. Can I give you a hug?” 

Ezra nodded, leaning forward as she took him into her arms. She held him for a moment, noting the boneknitter on his ribs and how she could feel his ribs through his clothes, before gently releasing him.  _ Thank you, _ he signed.  _ For everything. _

“Of course. Do you still want your hot chocolate? It’s probably cool enough to drink now, and it always comforts me whenever I feel down.” Hera leaned back on her knees before standing up, offering Ezra a hand. He took it, and she pulled him to standing. He nodded, folding his arms across his body self consciously. She pulled the chair back over to where his waffles sat, half eaten. 

He reached over the waffles to grab his mug, taking a pull from the warm liquid. It warmed him through. He sighed and frowned, remembering the last time he’d had the beverage. 

“What’s on your mind?” Hera asked, noting the change in his facial expression. 

_ Hot chocolate reminds me of my parents.  _

“Can I ask what happened to them?” 

Ezra looked to the side sadly, eyes glazed over.  _ They’re dead. I was seven.  _

“And you’ve been on your own ever since?” she asked, trying to get a little more information out of him. He nodded, looking down into his drink. “I’m sorry, Ezra. That can’t have been easy.” Shaking his head, he shut himself down, controlling his face and reaching for another waffle. Hera noticed the shift, and decided not to push him any further. It’d already been a difficult day for him. No reason to make it any harder. 

“When you finish your waffles, do you want to get set up in the spare room? You can decorate it however you want to,” she offered. At that, he perked up a little bit, nodding and beginning to eat faster. 

  
  


\----

“Alright. Do you need anything else until we can get back to Capital City?” Hera asked Ezra, handing him a second blanket from the stack in the small closet. He shook his head, trying not to feel guilty about the resources they were using on him. “C’mon. Let’s get you set up. I think Kanan had Sabine and Zeb start on it, so there shouldn’t be too much else to do.”

Hera turned down the hallway, Ezra close behind. As they rounded the corner, a large crash sounded in front of them. A stack of boxes lay strewn about in the hallway, Zeb in the center of the mess. Chopper warbled giddily from behind him, letting a few zaps of electricity out of his arm. “Karabast! Kriffing droid!” Zeb roared, getting to his feet. Ezra shrunk back a little bit, but started laughing, giggles spilling out of his mouth. Sabine joined him from where she stood in the doorway, arms loaded up with boxes. Zeb turned, about to yell about how it wasn’t funny, but a look from Hera had him pinning his ears. He ended up chuckling too, running a hand down the back of his neck. It  _ had _ been kind of funny. Chopper whirled his dome, flexing his limbs. Kanan appeared behind Ezra, smiling. Hera looked on at her makeshift family fondly. 

“There’s only a few more boxes left,” Sabine said, once she had stopped laughing. “Where do you want these? The room across the hall is full.”

“You can put them in the closet in the bay. There should be some more room in there. If not, we can go through them and pull what’s important out.” Kanan said. Ezra jumped, not having realized he had joined them, but quickly relaxed. “I’ll get the rest of those boxes out of here. Hera, would you grab Ezra’s bag from my room?” Ezra nodded, a small smile on his lips. 

The two Force-sensitives entered the room, Ezra following Kanan. “Well, kid, this is your room. Feel free to do with it what you like,” the older said, lifting the last of the boxes and heading towards the door. “Once I’m done putting these away, is it alright if I take a look at your ribs?” he asked, turning in the doorway for a response. 

_ Okay, _ Ezra signed, surprised again at the fact that he was asked. Once Kanan was gone, he did a full circle around his new space, once more reaching out with his feelings for recording devices. Finding none, he laid his blankets on the bed against the wall and sat down on the mattress. It was soft, much softer than what he slept on in the tower. 

A knock at the door startled him out of his thoughts. “It’s Hera,” the pilot’s voice called. Ezra crossed the room, pushing the button to let her in. “Here are your things,” she said, handing him his bag. He quickly opened it, rummaging around to make sure everything was there. Nothing seemed to be missing, he noted with satisfaction. 

_ Thank you, _ he signed.  _ For everything. _

“Of course. Always,” she responded with a warm smile. Ezra smiled back. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Sabine get to know each other, and have a conversation about gender.

Ezra sighed. How had life gotten so good all of a sudden? He had a warm place to stay, access to food, and a place where he could get medical help. He sat in his - _ his! _ \- bunk, stroking a soft fleece blanket, lost in his thoughts. 

A knock at the door startled him. He’d left it open at Kanan’s suggestion, to let some of the musty air out from when it had been a storage unit. Not that he was unfamiliar with musty air, living in the comms tower, but it was a nice change of pace. He jumped at the sound, hand freezing mid-stroke. Sabine stood in the doorway, looking slightly out of place. 

They stared at each other, Ezra waiting for her to come in, her waiting on an invitation, before she spoke. “Could, um. Could I come in?” He quickly nodded, surprised at her asking him. At the look on his face, Sabine’s face turned sad. “You’re used to people just coming as they please, aren’t you,” she asked. Ezra’s face began to turn red. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, kid. The four of us, plus Chopper, grew up in wildly different ways. There’s no need to be embarrassed.” 

He nodded, not meeting her eyes.  _ I’ll keep that in mind.  _

Sabine walked slowly over to the bed. “Can I sit down with you?” she asked, keeping her movements deliberately slow. 

  
Ezra nodded again, shifting over to accommodate her. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, Ezra not taking his eyes off the Mandalorian, before Sabine spoke again. “I’m sorry about how I acted earlier. I could tell you were scared, but I got aggressive anyways. It’s how I was raised. If people attacked my family, we were supposed to attack back,” she explained. “I’ve moved on from that family, but I guess my instincts are still there.

“You were scared, though. And I used that fear against you, and I’m sorry for it,” she said, finally facing him. “I’m glad you’re here now, though. I could use someone my age to talk to.” Sabine cocked a small smirk. 

Ezra reached out into the Force, feeling her bright presence, knowing she was sincere. He smiled back at her. In response, he offered part of his blanket to her, scooting so his back was against the wall. She joined him, tucking her legs underneath her.  _ Can I ask you something? _ he signed.

“Shoot,” she replied, leaning back against the wall. 

_ How do you know the sign languages? _

Her face turned slightly dark. “The Imperial Academy. They thought we should be well-versed in telling others what to do, no matter what languages they spoke.” 

He nodded.  _ So, you went to the Imperial Academy?  _

Sabine nodded, a dark look still on her face, before it brightened. “I have an idea! Have you heard of the game twenty-one questions?” she asked. At the shake of Ezra’s head, she continued. “It’s a game where two people take turns asking questions. Since I don’t know anything about you, and you don’t know anything about me, it should be fun. And we can get to know each other.” 

Ezra thought for a minute, before signing.  _ Alright, but nothing too personal.  _

“Sounds good to me. Since you just went, I’ll go. What’s your last name?” 

_ B-R-I-D-G-E-R. _

“No way, like the Bridger transmissions?” she leaned in. Ezra shifted back a few inches, before nodding. He then perked up, realizing something. 

_ That counts as your question for this round. My turn, _ he smirked.  _ What made you leave Mandalore?  _

“That’s a little bit personal, but I’ll answer. The Empire sucks ass. They made me turn against my people. I couldn’t stand the person I’d become, so I left.” Sabine let her hair fall into her face as she reminisced. “Earlier you said no one was looking for you. Why?” 

_ My family’s all dead. The Empire found us, dragged my parents out into the street and executed them in front of everyone. I saw it happen.  _ Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, before he took a deep breath, wiping them away with too-long sleeves. Sabine sat quietly, watching him with soft eyes until he gathered himself.  _ Do you have a namesign? _

She smiled at him. “Yeah, I do,” Sabine replied, signing  _ bean  _ to him. He smiled tentatively. “It’s because of the  _ bean _ part of my name.” At that, the blue haired boy laughed, and she joined him. Once the fit had passed, she asked, “Why did you borrow Kanan’s clothes? Mine would fit you a lot better. He’s a giant compared to you.”

Ezra looked down, pulling his arms into his chest. Kanan told him that he could trust the crew, but was he ready to divulge that information yet? He sighed.  _ If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone else. I’m not ready for them to know.  _ He looked directly into her eyes, deep blue meeting hazel. At her nod, he looked down, before signing.  _ I was born a girl. I’m not a girl.  _ Ezra glanced away, not wanting to meet her eyes so he didn’t see the shame that was surely there. 

A hand on his shoulder made him tense, before he realized it was just Sabine. “It’s okay, Ezra. I understand. I’m nonbinary. She/they pronouns. I’m not on hormones or anything but I do want to get top surgery when I can afford it.”

_ What does nonbinary mean? And top surgery and hormones? _

“For me, nonbinary means that basically I don’t give a fuck about gender. I just...exist, not as male or female, but I guess if I had to pin it down, it’d be somewhere in between,” they explained. “Top surgery is different for everyone. If you were born female, but are male, then top surgery is used to remove the breast tissue so that you have a flat chest. It’s the opposite if you’re born female, but are male. For me, they just don’t feel like a part of my body.” Ezra leaned in, listening intently. “Hormones are basically meds that help your body transition into the gender you want to be. They help with dysphoria, like when you feel suffocated in the body you currently have. Top surgery also helps with that, and there’s bottom surgery if that’s where you feel dysphoric.”

He nodded.  _ Could....I maybe get surgery? Or am I gonna have to live with these for the rest of my life? _ Ezra signed, anxious to hear their answer. 

“I don’t see why you couldn’t. It’s pretty expensive, though, and we’d have to find a medical practice outside of the Empire to get it done. But I don’t see why not,” she replied. 

Ezra glanced out of where his hair had fallen into his face, and he reached up to tuck a strand behind his ear before signing again.  _ Kanan said you have compression shirts. I’ve been using bandages to bind, but he told me that’s not safe.  _

Sabine nodded. “Yeah, it can really damage your ribs. I’m guessing he told you no binding until your ribs are healed?” At Ezra’s nod, they continued. “That’s probably for the best. I know it’s gonna suck, but once you’re better, then it’ll be good to have a safe method of binding. You’re lucky that it wasn’t worse.”

He gave a small smile to her, and they lapsed into silence. 

“If you ever want to talk about it, then I’m here, mkay? Kanan and Hera and Zeb are great, but they don’t really understand, in all honesty.”

A knock from the doorway alerted the pair to Hera’s presence. Ezra startled, wondering how much she’d heard. She had a soft, warm smile on her face as she looked into the room at the pair. As if sensing Ezra’s thoughts, she spoke. “I didn’t hear what you guys were talking about. Just wanted to let you know that we’re about to come out of hyperspace to go back to Lothal. We’ll make a stop at Capital City before we go to meet Vizago. Ezra, do you want to take us to your home? You can get your stuff.” 

He perked up a little bit, before shrinking into himself again. Hera felt her heart twang at who had hurt this kid, lekku twitching.  _ Yeah, I can do that. But I don’t want anyone else to come up with me _ , he replied.  _ I don’t have much stuff, anyways.  _

“That’s fine. Next time we actually go into the city, we can get you some clothes that fit better.” Hera smiled. “If you want to come up to the cockpit, then you can show us the way to go.” He nodded, and the two teens began untangling themselves from the blanket. Ezra zipped Kanan’s jacket all the way up, and he and Sabine left his room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly guys, i'm so sorry about how long it took me to write this. i stopped working on it back when my classes picked up last semester, went over break without writing a n y t h i n g, and now i'm on a four day break and wrote a chapter where i project onto my favorite characters. 
> 
> i've been having...issues with my gender recently, and so sabine is now enby. anyways, i hope you enjoy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra gets some stuff from his old home, and begins to make his new one.

Sitting in the cockpit with Hera and Kanan, Ezra stared out the window at the blue and white swirls of hyperspace. He could feel his jaw go slack at the shades, how they twisted together into a sort of tunnel. Had he been paying attention, he would have seen the adults smile sadly at each other, but his focus was solely on the beauty outside the ship. 

“Coming out of hyperspace in three, two, one.” Hera pulled a lever, and the colors formed into white streaks that shortened into pinpricks of light, stars in distant systems. Ezra finally picked up his jaw, but was still mesmerised by the green, yellow, and blue of his home planet. He’d always loved the view from his tower, being able to look over the vast grassy plains, but to see it from up here was a whole different experience. On the dark side of the planet, he could see the bright lights of the cities he’d never visited, branching and fading on the edges. 

Their approach to the planet was smooth, bypassing the few imperial ships in orbit. As the ship began to descend into the atmosphere, the sun was beginning to set, casting a soft orange glow across the tops of the clouds. Ezra stared at it, feeling his soul calm at the peaceful sight. Kanan smiled to himself, sensing the serenity from the teenager. 

Once out of the clouds, the sprawl of Capital City lay beneath them, messily winding its way into more organized streets towards the center. “Alright, Ez, let us know where to go,” Kanan asked softly, breaking the silence. The blue haired boy smiled at the nickname, coming to stand next to the man, looking out at the landmarks. Ezra pointed in the opposite direction the sun was setting, and Hera turned the ship appropriately. The trio lapsed into silence again as they left the outskirts of the city. A few moments passed, and the familiar sight of his comms tower came into view. 

The sun was just touching the horizon as the ship set down in the tall grass. Ezra turned from the window, walking down the hallway past his room to the cargo bay. Sabine looked up from where she’d been sitting, cleaning her blasters. They watched as he walked across the room and palmed the bay door open. The soft orange shone into the room, the brightness of the sun blinding Sabine momentarily. When the colors had cleared from her vision, Ezra was gone. 

\----

Outside, Ezra stared up at the tower that had been his home for years. He placed a hand to the cool metal of the structure, feeling Kanan and Hera’s eyes on him from where they sat in the cockpit. Palming the elevator button, he was filled with a sudden, overwhelming sadness. Was this the last time he’d do this? Would he ever consider this home again? 

He entered the elevator, heard the familiar clang as the room rose through the floors. 

A mottled  _ ding _ sounded as the elevator reached the top, and Ezra stepped into his room. 

There wasn’t much to speak of, by way of possessions. A few helmets lay scattered on tables and cabinets, and a nest of blankets sat in the corner. Closing his eyes, Ezra breathed in deep, taking a moment to center himself, subconsciously releasing some of his grief into the Force. He would be okay. He’d found good people, and while they might not be family yet, he trusted his instinct that they would take care of him. 

From his bed, he grabbed the softest blanket he owned, stuffing it into a burlap sack. Next went the nicest two of his trooper helmets, taking up a decent amount of space. Ezra opened the drawer in his cabinet, pulling the emergency ration bars he kept there. For clothes, he grabbed his two other shirts, both worn nearly through, and the pair of sweatpants. He’d managed to steal them brand new from a store, and only wore them when he was sick or hurt, which happened to be relatively often. 

Although Kanan had told him he shouldn’t bind with bandages, he dumped the packages of white cloth into his sack, just in case. 

Ezra sighed, taking a final glance around his home, feeling some of the sadness seep back into his bones. He lugged his bag over to the elevator, but paused. Something was calling him. 

He stepped onto the balcony, staring out over the plains. The orange glow was slowly fading into pink, and he knew that the lilac only seen at dusk was to follow next. Ezra closed his eyes, listening in the Force. He could feel Sabine’s colorful aura, as colorful as the sunset. Hera’s coolness washed over him, and he breathed, searching for Zeb and his dark blue urge to protect. He could sense Kanan’s presence, bright yellow; aware but muted. 

They all seemed so close, so much like a family that Ezra wasn’t sure where he’d fit in. 

Sighing, he decided they could wait an hour or so. Facing the setting sun, he settled down into a lotus position and lost himself among the silver waves of the Force. 

Time passed, and a nudge at his consciousness brought him back to the world. He clamped down his shields, relaxing only slightly when he realized it was Kanan. The western sky was in the last few shades before true darkness, and it was beginning to get cold. Ezra shivered against the wind that had picked up, biting his face. 

He stood up and stretched, hips having gone numb from sitting cross-legged for so long. Shaking his leg to get feeling back into his toes, Ezra hobbled awkwardly back into his home. 

Finally, the feeling had come back to his legs, and he made his way into the elevator. The doors were about to close when he set his bag down, crossing the room with a purpose. He opened a drawer with a loud grating sound, and stared down at what was in it. 

Gingerly, he picked the picture of his parents, closing his eyes and resting it against his forehead. A tear slipped out as he remembered them, and he made no move to wipe it away. A moment passed before Ezra swept his arm at his cheek and gently set the image in an inside pocket of his borrowed jacket. 

He walked back to the elevator, turning to take one last look at his home.  _ Goodbye, _ he thought, before the doors closed and the elevator rattled downwards towards a new life. 

\----

Kanan and Hera were waiting for him when he trudged up the cargo bay ramp, soft smiles on their faces. Ezra tentatively smiled back, feeling a strange warmth bubble inside of him.

“Hey, bud. You doing alright?” Kanan asked gently, sensing the turmoil that still simmered inside him. He nodded. It had been a strange day, and he was exhausted. Picking up his bag, he headed towards the ladder to go to his room. He tightened his grip around the burlap, then carefully climbed with one hand up the yellow fixture. 

His feet echoed softly as he walked down the hallway, palming open the door to his room. It was exactly how he’d left it, thankfully. The blanket lay twisted on his bed from where he and Sabine had untangled themselves after their talk. Ezra set his sack down in the middle of the room before reaching in. First, he pulled out his clothes, setting them carefully in the small dresser that sat in the corner of the room. In the bottom drawer, he tucked the bandages into a corner. The helmets came next, and Ezra set those on top of the dresser, next to a small lamp that he flicked on. The light flickered once before remaining steady, and he closed the door since his room was no longer dark. 

Last, he switched the blanket that had been given to him earlier for the one he’d brought from his home. It wasn’t nearly as soft, but it was his, and he didn’t want to take anything he didn’t need from this crew, and he had one. He folded the softer one, draping it over his arms as he went to leave his room. 

A knock at the door startled him slightly as he finished the final folds. “Ezra? I’ve got some things for you for your room. Could I come in?” Hera’s voice came through. He palmed the door key, and the metal swished open. 

In the Twi’lek’s arms were a few pairs of clothes, another blanket, and a pillow. Ezra blinked at the amount of things she had, but moved aside so she could come in. 

“I like what you’ve done with the place here. We can get some different lights if you’d like, too, maybe some of those fairy ones that people put up for Life Day?” she began talking, Ezra still trying to process. Hera moved to his bed, pulling back his blanket. Instinctively, Ezra moved to stop her, a snarl on his face and an almost dangerous glint in his eye. That was his, and he would fight for it. Thankfully, she stopped at the expression on his face, dropping the fabric. He picked up the blanket, and retreated into the corner, eyeing her carefully. 

“I’m sorry, hon. I didn’t think. I’m not going to take that from you, but I brought you some new ones that are a little bit softer. I thought they might make your bed a little bit more comfortable.” At that, Ezra relaxed, releasing his death grip from the blanket. Embarrassment flooded his cheeks, and he looked down. “Hey, it’s okay. I should have been more careful. I know a little bit of how you grew up, and I should have asked before I touched anything. It’s okay, hon.” He felt into the Force, feeling her genuine apology, and looked up. 

_ I wouldn’t mind a few more lights, _ he signed.  _ But I don’t want you to spend that much on me. I can take care of myself. _

Her face softened. “I know, but we’ll look out for you, too. And if there’s something you want, you’re allowed to ask for it. Okay?” she asked, reaching slowly to put a hand on his shoulder. 

Ezra nodded, meeting her eyes, letting a tentative smile onto his face.  _ Thank you,  _ he signed. 

“Do you want me to leave these here, or would you like some help in putting some things away?” she asked, her voice gentle. 

He thought for a moment before responding.  _ I’d like to do it myself, if that’s alright.  _

Hera nodded. “Of course. I’ll let you be. My cabin is the one closest to the cockpit, on the left. Tomorrow, we’re trading what we stole to a smuggler, and handing out some food to a community that the Empire abandoned. Let us know if you need anything, okay?” she said, pausing in the doorway. 

He smiled and nodded back.  _ Thank you for everything. _

“Anytime, hon. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Goodnight,” she said. Ezra nodded back, and Hera smiled. She turned down the hallway, and the door swooshed closed behind her. 

He smiled, and set to work. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra has a nightmare and adopts a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was purely self indulgent. i promise i'll get back to the plot soon!

Falling asleep proved to be hard, but staying asleep was even more difficult. First, he tossed and turned for an hour, pulling his shields high, before drifting off into nightmares. 

_ Ezra sat shivering, young and cold, his first night alone on the streets. Snow fell steadily from the sky, and he was all alone, hiding in an alley clear across the city from where his home was. Tears dripped steadily from his eyes, tracing tracks down his face. He couldn’t go home. They might be looking for him. Tugging at his too-long hair, he shook.  _

_ A face came into his view, a hand reaching out to help him up. “Come, girl. You can stay with me tonight.” He shook his head, both at being called a girl, and the offer of shelter. Ezra knew that he shouldn’t talk to strangers, especially ones far from home. “You’re freezing. Let me help you,” the man offered again. He looked up, through the snow at the face. Again he shook his head.  _

_ “No, thank you.”  _

_ In front of him, the man began to change. Skin peeled away, nails grew into talons, and still closer the man reached. “You will come with me,” the voice whispered in his mind. Horns had grown out of the man’s head, eyes somehow glowing black. He moved back, whimpering.  _

_ The hand reached out, blood dripping from fingernails, and grabbed over his face, smothering him in darkness.  _

Ezra sat up with a gasp, a sheen of sweat apparent on his forehead. He carefully reached past his shields, sensing the rest of the crew. Sabine and Zeb were fast asleep in their bunks, Kanan crashed in Hera’s room. The Twi’lek was awake, he figured, probably working on some plans. He stretched his awareness farther, but nothing caught his attention. His fingers found the worn fabric of his blanket, and he relaxed slightly, knowing that he was safe for now. 

Silently, he slipped out of his bed, tugging on Kanan’s jacket and grabbing one of his newer blankets. He wrapped the soft fabric around his shoulders, before keying open the door. His feet padded quietly down the hallway as he made his way to the cockpit. The light of the two moons shone through the glass, landing softly on the controls. He paused, staring out over the plains of his homeworld, before he found the ladder to the top gun position. 

The light was bright enough to cast his shadow onto the floor as he settled in. He stared up at the sky, closing his eyes and falling into the Force once more. Keeping tabs on everyone in the ship, he just rested, letting the waves roll over him. 

His emotions slipped away from him, and he extended his reach further and further, until it was paper-thin, and suddenly, the ship wasn’t enough for him. He needed contact with something, something living and breathing and alive like him. 

Almost frantically, Ezra slid down the ladder, making sure to keep his footsteps silent. He slid down the ladder, landing gently, before rushing to the bay doors that had been closed when he’d gotten back from his tower. 

The door opened with a quiet mechanical hiss, and before it had touched the ground, Ezra was off the ship. 

He ran a bit from the ship, revelling in the life around him. The bugs in the tall grasses, the birds flitting around, the loth-cats that reigned on this part of his homeworld. Ezra took a deep breath before he reached out again, not so thin as he had before, but enough to find the family of loth-cats that was hunting a couple dozen meters away. Calming himself, he sat cross-legged in the grass, blanket draped over his shoulders. Carefully, he felt for the smallest loth-cat’s mind, calling to it gently. A few moments later, he heard a  _ mrow? _ from the grass in front of him. The loth-cat perked its head above the grass, and Ezra coaxed it further forwards, until it was sniffing his hands with soft snuffles. 

Smiling, he reached into the pocket of the jacket, finding a ration bar he’d stuffed in there on his way out. He broke off a piece, briefly wondering if loth-cats could eat ration bars, before feeding it to the animal. She let out a soft purr as Ezra ran his hand down her striped coat. She moved closer, unafraid, and climbed into his lap. He rested his hand on her.  _ What’s your name, little one? _ he thought, relishing the cat’s light happiness at being stroked. He laughed to himself like a child.  _ How about...Sanaa? _

The cat seemed to snuggle in closer. Ezra giggled again.  _ Sanaa it is. Would you like to come with me? _ he mentally asked, continuing to stroke the cat. Sanaa looked at him with eyes closed in pure bliss as he scratched behind her ears.  _ I’ll take that as a yes. _

They sat there for a while, before a faint pink light shone on the horizon, bringing with it the coming day. Ezra stood slowly, holding the cat with one arm as he readjusted his blanket to keep it from falling into the tall grass. Sanaa had fallen asleep in the time that they’d been there, and now meowed slightly at being moved.  _ I know. But the crew is gonna be awake soon and I don’t know how they’ll feel about having a cat on board, so we’ve got to go quickly _ . 

He held his arms as still as possible as he walked the uneven ground back to the ship. The ramp was still down, and he walked quietly up the metal, closing it behind him.  _ You’re gonna have to stay in my room for now, but once I tell them, you can come out, alright? _ he sent toward Sanaa. She felt slightly miffed through the Force, but begrudgingly seemed to accept his request.  _ Thank you. _

Back in his room, he slipped his blanket off and wrapped it in a circle, creating a nest on the end of his bed. Sanaa jumped right up, almost immediately falling back asleep. Ezra smiled at the sight, before slipping out of his room. 

He heard the telltale sound of caf being made, heard a faint conversation from the galley, and for a moment, he was six years old, going into the kitchen to ask his parents if he could have hot chocolate with breakfast. Ezra shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. Using the Force, he could tell it was Hera and Kanan. Stopping in the open doorway, he listened quietly to their conversation. 

“Why don’t we get some of those high-nutrient ration bars? He could really use some,” Hera said as she put a pan on the stove. “I could feel his ribs when he let me hug him yesterday. He’s probably severely underweight.”

“That sounds like a good plan. We can keep some of the high nutrient fruits from the cargo we stole, those would be a good choice too. He’s definitely underweight, though, you’re right about that.” The caf machine went off, and Kanan moved to make himself a cup. “Ezra’s really scared, too. I wish I could go find whoever hurt him so bad and kick their ass. He’s just a kid.”

His cup filled, he turned to face the Twi’lek, but froze as he caught sight of Ezra, standing awkwardly in the doorway, oversized jacket covering his small frame. He was looking at the floor, cheeks tinged pink and hands fiddling with his sleeves. 

Kanan grimaced. “You heard all of that, didn’t you.” He facepalmed. Hera smiled kindly at him from where she was stirring something on the stove. The room began to smell like spices, and Ezra’s stomach growled as he sat at the table. 

In response to Kanan, he nodded.  _ I heard you talking about the food. I don’t want to be a burden _ , he signed. 

“Keeping you fed and healthy is important, Ezra,” Hera responded, glancing over at him. 

_ I have some credits, I can pay for my own food, _ he tried, not understanding why they wanted to help him so bad. 

“No offense, but you should save your money. You’ll get a little bit for each run we make, but what you have right now is yours. You’ve earned it,” Kanan told him. Ezra nodded, a little bit shamed. 

Things were quiet for a few moments before Sabine stumbled in, rubbing her eyes, hair tousled from sleep. “Morning, hon,” Hera said, adding the finishing touches to whatever she was making on the stove. She turned off the heat and began piling the food onto the plates Kanan had brought out from a cabinet earlier. “Is Zeb awake? I made eggs.” 

At that, she perked up a little bit. “Don’t think so. You know how he likes his sleep.” To Ezra, she whispered, “I wouldn’t recommend waking him up. He gets really grumpy, especially in the mornings.” He smiled at her, nodding his thanks for the tidbit of information.

“I do not,” said Zeb, stretching in the doorway. 

Chopper beeped from behind him, something derogatory, before poking Zeb with his electroprod, causing the Lasat to jump and curse, growling at the droid. Still unsure of the two members of the crew, Ezra shrunk down into the pillows a little bit. Sabine noticed, reaching over and grabbing his hand, surprised when he didn’t startle at her touch. 

“Alright, kids, eat up,” Kanan said, bringing the plates full of food to the table and setting them down with a flourish. Ezra grabbed a plate, knowing he didn’t want to be the last one to get to the food. He’d lived on the streets long enough to know whoever waited didn’t get to eat. 

Hera and Kanan exchanged looks as he began eating quickly and quietly, not making much noise or eye contact with the others. It was Sabine who stepped in. They gently tapped him with their leg, and he paused to look at her. Subtly she signed  _ it’s okay _ under the table, and surprisingly, Ezra nodded, slowing down. The adults exchanged another glance, wondering when they’d gotten close enough to talk like that. 

“So, what’s the plan for today, Hera?” Zeb asked through a mouthful of food. 

“Step one, is don’t talk with your mouth full. You’ve been living on this ship for how long?” Hera asked rhetorically. 

“Sorry, Hera,” he replied, looking sheepish. 

“Once we clean up breakfast, we’re going to go to Tarkintown. Kanan, Chop, and I will meet with Vizago, and you three can distribute the rations we got,” Hera explained. “Hopefully, he’ll have some intel or a job we can run for a bit. If not, I know a few other people we could take jobs from.” Everyone except Ezra nodded. 

_ What’s Tarkintown? _ Ezra signed, a confused look on his face.

“Tarkintown is the village where the people who got their land stolen from them by the Empire live. They have nothing to their names, and they can’t find work since the Empire kicked them out. We bring them food and whatever else we can, whenever we can,” Sabine said. “It’s named for Grand Moff Tarkin. He’s a bitch - hey, he is!!”

“Language,” Hera said from where she had tossed a hand towel at the Mandalorian teen. Ezra glanced at the Twi’lek, slightly unnerved by her display of aggression, but Sabine laughed and he relaxed a little bit. She glanced at Ezra with a smile on her face, quickly losing it when she saw his expression.

“It’s okay, Ez. Hera wouldn’t hurt me. I know she doesn’t allow cursing. It was a joke,” they explained. He nodded, feeling her sincerity in the Force. Hera felt a dark teal, guilty and apologetic and sad all mixed into one. He let his tense muscles relax. 

Standing, Ezra went to gather the plates off the table so he could wash them, figuring he might as well earn his keep. A hand at his shoulder made him jump. He clenched his fist, turning quickly, ready to fight, before he realized it was just Kanan. The man took a step back, releasing Ezra’s shoulder, and he lowered his fist, blushing hard. “It’s alright kid. I’ll take care of the dishes today.” 

He nodded, giving a quick smile to the man before turning to go down the hallway towards the bunks. He could feel Sanaa waking up, and wanted to feed her something more than a ration bar. Realizing all he had in his room was ration bars, however, he paused in the doorway before turning around.  _ Could I get something to take back to my room? _ he signed, anxiety pulsing in his gut. Kanan and Hera shared a glance before they smiled warmly at him. 

“Of course, dear. What were you thinking?”

That stumped him.  _ Maybe a sandwich? _ He could give the meat to Sanaa and keep the bread in case things went downhill. 

Hera nodded, turning to get the bread out of the cabinet. “If you want, I can have Sabine bring it to your room. I know today’s already been a lot for you.”

She glanced back at him. He quickly smiled at her from where he’d been fiddling with the sleeves of his coat, before turning to leave the room. 

\----

When he got back to his bunk, Sanaa was lounging on the bed, awake. She blinked up at him blearily and let out a soft miaow. Her white underbelly was on display, and Ezra reached into the Force, asking if she wanted belly rubs. He pushed the suggestion her way, and after receiving no complaint, he sat next to her and began stroking her. 

She stretched out, relaxing into the bed as Ezra pet her. Her hazel eyes closed in happiness, and she purred loudly. 

A knock at the door startled him, as he’d gotten lost in the softness of her fur. A quick check in the Force told him it was Sabine with his sandwich, and he got up to answer. She stood outside, still in her pajamas, sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap. “Hera thought you might want it for later. You did eat a lot for breakfast.” 

Ezra quickly thanked her, closing the door in her face. That didn’t deter her from knocking again, clearly wanting to talk. He sighed, palming open the door again. “Alright, what are you hiding,” she said, knowing that something was up. He glanced sheepishly up at the Mandalorian, before sliding aside to let her in. Once she was through, he closed the door behind them. 

“Is this _your_ cat, or did you just bring a cat on board?” she asked, appearing to be unimpressed. Ezra could feel her affection towards Sanaa immediately, though, so it didn’t fool him. 

_ Might have just bonded with her last night and decided to bring her with me? _

“Alright. She doesn’t seem to be too feral, otherwise Kanan and Hera would absolutely say no,” they continued. “But I don’t want to worry them with this while they’re looking for a job to keep us busy. But you are going to have to tell them at some point.” 

Ezra nodded. He’d expected that. 

“Let me guess, the sandwich is for her?” Sabine asked, unwrapping the food at his nod. Smelling the meat, she perked up from where she was lounging on the bed. “What did you name her?” 

_ S-A-N-A-A.  _

“I like that. How are you, little Sanaa?” they asked the cat, who had come to sit politely next to them. Sabine offered her some meat, and she gobbled it up. “Well, you’ve got me hooked, Ez. Can’t say too much about Zeb and Chopper, but I think Kanan and Hera might be sympathetic to your cause.” 

She grinned at him, and just like that, they were in this together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next chapter, ezra confides in kanan and sabine, and hera and kanan trade information for the wookies while ezra explores the ship.


	8. Chapter 8

A few hours later, they were once more flying over the golden plains of Lothal. Once they got Sanaa situated in Ezra’s cabin, he and Sabine had gone back to the galley to wait for their landing. The pair sat close together, Ezra signing low so only she could see it, her whispering a response every few seconds. Zeb was probably dozing in his cabin, and Kanan and Hera were in the cockpit.

Sabine was in the middle of telling a story when Chopper rolled into the galley, complaining about something. Beside them, Ezra froze, eyes widening in fear as the droid moved around the kitchen, making another pot of caf. She felt something shift in the air, a tenseness that hadn’t been there before. “Ez?” she whispered. “What’s wrong?” They reached out to grab his shoulder in an effort to comfort him as his breathing grew more and more laboured. As soon as she made contact, the ship began rattling around them. He shrunk into himself, closing his eyes and trying to stop the memories. Vaguely, he could hear Sabine call for Kanan, but his mind overpowered 

_ Hit her again, stronger this time.  _

_ Did you think we wouldn’t find you, bitch? _

_ She can take more.  _

_ Listen to how she screams! Never heard it like that before.  _

“-ra, I need you to take a deep breath, you’re hyperventilating. Breathe with me, okay? C’mon, you can do it.” He kept his eyes closed, but focused on the deep voice that sat in front of him. A calloused hand grabbed his, placing it against fabric, where he could feel a steady heartbeat. “In….and out. Breathe, bud, it’s gonna be okay. Feel my heartbeat? You’re not there anymore. We’ve got you.” Ezra nodded, scared to open his eyes. Kanan must have sensed it, as he continued talking. “It’s okay, bud. Just breathe. I’m here.”

Slowly, he came back to himself, breathing evening out. He sighed, dropping his hand from Kanan’s chest and going to wipe his face with the sleeve of his jacket. He reached into the Force, feeling Sabine, their bright presence muted with worry. Kanan was his usual self, cool and green, warmth and sunlight. Ezra clung to it, breathing deeply. 

After a bit, he realized he probably owed them an explanation. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the light, Kanan and Sabine sat across from him, giving him space. Ezra gave them a tentative smile, trying to signal to them that he was alright. 

A wah wah sounded from the corner, and he jumped, balling his hands into fists. “Woah, Ezra, it’s alright. Chopper is Hera’s droid. He helps run the ship. He’s not going to hurt you, I promise,” Kanan soothed as he began to tense up again. Ezra looked him in the eyes, and took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. 

The orange droid rolled over slowly, and Kanan nodded at Ezra, who reached out carefully, running his hand along Chopper’s dome. He sat quietly, letting him get more comfortable, before letting out a wah wah. The boy jumped, pulling back a little bit, before placing his hand back on the droid. 

After a few moments of silence, Ezra paused, glancing at Kanan and Sabine.  _ You’re probably wondering what happened.  _

The man shook his head. “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, kid.”

Sabine moved to sit next to him. “It might help to talk about it though. When I first came on board, I was angry, and hurt, and scared. I tried bottling it all up, and it just made me worse. I lashed out at everything. I finally started talking, and Hera and Kanan listened and then, they helped me work through it,” they told him. “I know it’s hard. And it sucks. But these are things you’re allowed to feel, and a lot of the time, it helps to have someone there for you.”

“Bean is right, Ezra. We won’t force you to talk, but it can help. We’re here for you, no matter what,” Kanan said, reaching over to grasp Ezra’s hands. 

The Lothali boy nodded, before beginning to sign.  _ I’ve been on my own since I was seven. I stayed on the streets for...two years? before I found the comms tower. I was young and people used that against me. There was one time, when I was nine, I got sick. It wasn’t anything super bad at first, but it got infected and I needed antibiotics. So I went to a med station, but they wouldn’t give me anything since I didn’t have any money. I ended up going back there later that night to try and steal the meds, but I got caught.  _

Ezra paused from where he had been signing. Kanan was looking at him with an understanding gaze, and Sabine looked mildly horrified.  _ Should I keep going? _

“It’s up to you, kiddo,” Kanan said. He took a deep breath. 

_ They called the stormtroopers. They took me to some...building. I wasn’t cuffed or anything, so I tried to run. I was small, and weak, and so there was no way I wouldn’t made it, but I was stupid and tried to anyways. The troopers caught me again, obviously. I had slipped and twisted my ankle. It was raining outside, and I was soaked and hurt, and they deemed I was a threat. They took me back to their detention center or something. I honestly didn’t mind that much, since it got me out of the rain for a few hours. But they brought in an astromech and.... _

Ezra took in a shuddering breath, looking down at the floor. Tears burned at his eyes, and he bit his lip, refusing to let them fall. 

_ They shocked me. A lot. Laughed when I screamed, begged them to stop. I don’t know how long they did it for, but they let me leave the next morning, for some reason. I’ve still got the scars.  _ He pulled the neck of his shirt away slightly, and the ends of a leafy-looking scar peeked out from underneath the fabric. 

Sabine had covered her mouth with her hand, looking shocked and hurt and angry all in one. Kanan took it in stride, however, and rested a hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eyes. “They shouldn’t have done that. I am proud of you, for having gone through that and still being as kind as you are today. You could have turned bitter and angry, and cynical, but you didn’t. I can’t promise that in this line of work, you won’t get hurt, but we will do our best to protect you and we will always take care of you, alright?” Ezra could feel the solid-rock sincerity in his tone, and found himself relaxing. 

_ Could I have a hug? _ he signed, anxiety bubbling inside him. 

“You don’t need to ask, okay bud?” Ezra nodded, before leaning over, wrapping his arms around the older man. Sabine moved from where she sat, wrapping her arms around Kanan and trapping Ezra in the middle. 

He sighed, leaning into their touch. 

\---

“Alright, Bean and Zeb, you guys and Ezra can help bring the food in. Kanan and I will go make the trade with Vizago,” Hera said, setting the ship down near some rock formations. Chopper wah wahed from where he sat in the corner, and Ezra was proud when he didn’t flinch visibly. “Yes, Chop, you can come with us. You won’t have to babysit.” 

Ezra caught a glance out the cockpit window at the rundown shacks that were arranged in a sort of street. He’d never heard of Tarkintown, but he knew that he understood the people who lived there. They’d lost everything to the Empire, same as he had. 

“You okay, Ez?” Sabine’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. He nodded, meeting their eyes. She nodded, and then turned and headed towards the cargo bay. The rest of the crew followed, Ezra bringing up the rear. 

The sun shone bright as they made their way into the town with crates of food. People gathered, lining up to get a share of what had been stolen. 

A hand on Ezra’s shoulder made him jump, a Rodian man looking him in the eyes. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you so much.” 

_ I didn’t do anything, _ he thought. He glanced over to where Sabine and Zeb stood, socializing with the locals. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed. Doing his best to look inconspicuous, Ezra walked towards the ship.

He sat down heavily, leaning back and flattening the tall grass. Folding his fingers, he stared up at the blue sky, closing his eyes and just feeling. 

Kanan and Hera were nearby, meeting with someone who felt yellow green.  _ Must be Vizago, _ Ezra thought. Sabine and Zeb were handing food out to the townspeople. By her presence, he could feel that Sabine knew he was gone, but wanted to give him space. 

Sanaa was dozing in his cabin again, her presence muted by sleep. 

He sunk a little deeper into the Force, content to just let the waves roll over him, when he heard something calling him. Opening his eyes, Ezra sat up, confused. Why hadn’t he felt it before? The tug grew a bit stronger.

Sighing, he got up, making his way towards the ship, where the call was coming from. 

A few moments later, he found himself standing in front of the door to Kanan’s cabin. It was definitely where the call was coming from, but did he want to breach the man’s privacy in that way? Ezra sighed again. He knew if he didn’t find what the Force wanted him to find, then it would just keep getting stronger, so much so that it would hurt. 

Ezra went to his room, careful to be quiet so he didn’t wake the striped loth-cat sleeping peacefully on his bed. He grabbed his backpack, reaching in to grab the lockpick from the side pocket. Slipping the bag on his back in a familiar motion, he silently left his room. 

The lock on Kanan’s door proved to be easy to pick, and within seconds, the door slid open. Ezra stepped in apprehensively, careful not to touch anything so that Kanan wouldn’t know that he was there. He knew what happened to people who got caught snooping, and even if he didn’t think that these people would do that, he didn’t want to try his luck.

Not that there was much stuff to touch. Kanan’s room was surprisingly bare, no trinkets of any sort on any of the surfaces. Somehow, Ezra wasn’t surprised. 

Sitting carefully on the unmade bed, he reached into the Force again. It was calling to him from...underneath the bunk? Sliding his hand along the bottom of the bed, he hit a latch, and a drawer sprung open. 

There were two objects inside, both puzzling to him. A cube with some sort of crystal sat in the middle, and a long metal cylinder. Both of them together seemed to be calling to him. 

First, Ezra picked up the cube. He wasn’t sure what it was, but maybe he could trade something for it? He felt slightly bad about stealing it, but he pushed those thoughts away. First and foremost, he needed to survive. 

Picking up the cylinder felt like finally finding a piece of him that had been missing. It didn’t quite fit right, but he knew he was on the right track. Right track to what, he had no clue, but it felt important. He found a switch on the side, and pressed it gently, somehow surprised and not when it lit up blue, a blade of light. 

Gently, he swung it around in the small space, getting used to the feeling of it. He held it in front of his face, grinning slightly at the light. 

Behind him, the door swooshed open and his face immediately fell. “Careful,” Kanan’s voice came as a warning from behind him. “You’ll cut your arm off.” 

Chopper rolled up beside him, and Kanan stepped into the room. Ezra visibly flinched back, remembering what happened when he’d gotten caught before. Quickly, he shut off the cylinder and set it down on the meditation pad that was in the room..  _ I don’t know if you believe this, but it’s like it was…calling to me.  _

Kanan walked further in, picking up the...whatever it is, splitting it into two parts and hanging them on his belt.  __ “I believe you, but a lightsaber is a really dangerous weapon to be messing with.” Ezra nodded, closing his eyes. 

_ I’m sorry.  _

“I know, bud. I’m not mad. Come on. Hera and I got some intel that we’ve been after for a while now. We’ll debrief in the common room, alright?” Ezra nodded, opening his eyes again. He sighed, feeling guilty about what had happened, but followed the adults further into the ship. 


End file.
